Sorry Does Not Change Everything

I have realised that when I am annoyed with someone, if they apologise to me, I feel as though I have no right to continue to be annoyed. I was in this situation today, someone apologised about a disagreement that took place and I find that I still feel annoyed and their apology does not sit well with me. Usually I would tell myself that I am being silly and I need to move on, but now that I am more in tune with myself and my intuition, I am happy to accept the apology but still allow myself the space to process the situation and decide how I would like to proceed.

Making a conscious decision of how I would like to proceed and when, means that I am being mindful of the decision that I am making and not simply reacting to their apology. I appreciate when someone takes the time to reflect on their behaviour and they decide to apologize as a result, but an apology does not mean that we have to jump back in to where we left off. I have also noticed that I rush into going back and being friends because I do not want the person to become annoyed with me and feel like I am being too demanding. I can now see that a lot of this is me thinking for someone else and also projecting on them.

Taking a step back and being mindful is always going to be beneficial to me in the long run and I am glad that I have made this observation. How do you deal with apologies? Do you allow yourself the time to process the incident or do you feel obliged to wipe the slate clean and jump right back in? It would be great to hear your thoughts?


Published by C J Anonymous

I have started this blog to share my journey through narcissistic abuse and beyond, and to help others who may have been through similar experiences. I also wanted to share the things that have helped me to heal from codependency. As a mother it became of paramount importance to me to ensure that unconscious generational patterns were not passed down to my children. Narcissism and codependency runs through my family of origin, and whilst I have learned that I cannot change the behaviour of others, I know that I can learn and improve myself daily and show up as an example to my children. There is a wealth of information about narcissism and codependency and yet everyone has a unique story to tell. Other's that shared their stories, helped me to see that I was not alone in a toxic family, or an abusive relationship and I did not have to be the victim, I could reclaim my power and change my life around. My hope is to help others who may feel as though they are the victim, suffer from low self-esteem, or believe that someone else has power over them. It can sometimes be a small quote, or one blog post that resonates with someone and starts their healing journey.

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