Stop Feeling Like You Need Permission to Feel Your Feelings-

It can be so easy to ignore your feelings, and feel as though you are not justified in having them unless there is someone else who agrees with you. As we are social creatures it is understandable that if we have a problem we may want to talk it through with someone, but this becomes a problem when you find that you need the validation of others in order to justify how you feel.

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For example, you may have been working on learning how to express yourself more authentically, and as the true you develops, you find that some of your friends no longer resonate with you in the way that they did before. This does not mean that they have done anything wrong, it is simply that you have shifted your energy and the way that you show up and you no longer fit with their energy.

Pay attention to whom your energy increases and decreases around, that’s the universe giving you a hint on who you should stray from or stay around.


It is important to remember that we are energy beings first. This means that if you feel something in your heart, have a gut instinct, or pick something up intuitively it should not be treated as subsidiary information. If you have a feeling about a person, it could be a friend, parent, or family member and you no longer feel comfortable around them, this is information that is coming to you through your energetic body.

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If you then take this sensitive intuitive information to a friend they may say “Oh you are being to sensitive”, or “(insert name) is such a nice person I do not know why you feel that way”, or “You do not want to throw away a friendship/relationship that you have had for so long”. This immediately causes you to feel doubt about the feelings that have been communicated to you energetically. You may feel relieved because it means that you can continue as things were, but you also may have missed out on the chance to elevate and trust yourself more deeply.

It is not always an outside person who gets in the way of you following your intuition either, it is sometimes an inside job. For example if you find that there are unhealthy behaviours in the family that you grew up in, you have tried to get along amicably and it has not worked so as an adult you want to create some distance. Your mind may then become filled with feelings of guilt and shame, making you feel as though you are being selfish separating yourself and healing.

Change can be scary and we are creatures of habit which is why some jobs, friendships, relationships and situation-ships often continue way past their expiry date. If you were gaslighted as a child and not given the chance to exercise some autonomy in your life, it will not be easy for you to tune into yourself and make decisions without doubt and anxiety. However as the great, late, Wayne Dyer says “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. It is vital that we accept change rather than fighting it because without letting go of the old, which no longer serves us, it is impossible to welcome the new.

As you let go of the energy of the old reality the universe will bring the new. All space must be filled with a frequency of energy. An energy field that is emptied must be refilled. You have the power to choose the new.


From this moment forward make the decision to look at yourself as a fully equipped being. With so many distractions in society it can be easy to always be seeking and gathering information, but you must understand that information received can only highlight what is already within you.

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The heart is the most powerful source of electromagnetic energy in the human body, with the electrical field being 60 times greater in amplitude than the electrical activity generated by the brain. It has become the norm in modern, and patriarchal society to be led by the mind and the brain but this was not always the way. We come to this earth fully equipped to make every decision that we need to in life, and it is through childhood and life experiences that we are pulled away from the innate trust in self that we are born with.

Through studies in neurocardiology it has been discovered that the “heart has a complex neural network that is sufficiently extensive to be characterized as a brain on the heart.” Understanding just how amazing the body is helps to reinstall faith in the fact that you can trust yourself. “Follow your heart” is a phrase that we hear often but the meaning is lost if you do not know that “the heart sends more information to the brain than the brain sends to the heart. [Also] More recent research shows that the neural interactions between the heart and brain are more complex than previously thought.”

Your body is always communicating with you but the communication is not loud, it is subtle, which is why some find it hard to hear, but it is always there. Think of it like a radio station, the radio station is still playing songs whilst your radio is off, or while you are tuned into a different channel. Once you get onto the right frequency you can hear the song that was playing all along. The same goes for tuning into your heart frequency, you may need to take some time to get quiet and really tap into your feelings, it will take practice. Start listening to and trusting yourself with small things and then build your way up.

You are always one decision away from a totally different life.

Mark Batterson

The next time that you truly feel something in your heart, dare to follow it, it will not lead you astray.


Published by C J Anonymous

I have started this blog to share my journey through narcissistic abuse and beyond, and to help others who may have been through similar experiences. I also wanted to share the things that have helped me to heal from codependency. As a mother it became of paramount importance to me to ensure that unconscious generational patterns were not passed down to my children. Narcissism and codependency runs through my family of origin, and whilst I have learned that I cannot change the behaviour of others, I know that I can learn and improve myself daily and show up as an example to my children. There is a wealth of information about narcissism and codependency and yet everyone has a unique story to tell. Other's that shared their stories, helped me to see that I was not alone in a toxic family, or an abusive relationship and I did not have to be the victim, I could reclaim my power and change my life around. My hope is to help others who may feel as though they are the victim, suffer from low self-esteem, or believe that someone else has power over them. It can sometimes be a small quote, or one blog post that resonates with someone and starts their healing journey.

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