Why You Should Stop Speaking to People out of Obligation.

We have heard many times that the experiences that take place in our lives from the ages of 0-7 can have a profound effect on the adult that we become, but we sometimes forget the extent of that. If you grew up in a home that was enmeshed, had weak boundaries, or your boundaries and

Stop People Pleasing and Protect your Boundaries

Growing up with a narcissistic parent means that your boundaries were not respected and you were taught to put others in front of your self. Even though these messages may not have been verbalised, they were planted into your subconscious from a very young age. As an adult it can be difficult to spot these

Why Am I So Disposable to the Narcissist?

This is a question that many people are left asking themselves after being in a relationship with a narcissist; this is not exclusive to romantic relationships, the same feeling can occur in friendships or with family members. It can be particularly interesting when you want to end the relationship and agonise for months over how

One Person can Change Toxic Family Patterns

When I first became aware of the toxic patterns and behaviours in my family of origin I knew that changes had to be made. However in the beginning I put so much power outside of myself, and whilst I knew that I had to make changes, I believed that in order for those changes to

Changes to Expect when Becoming Your Authentic Self

I believe that becoming your authentic self is one of our main reasons for being on this planet. Know and truly loving yourself is the best foundation to have, and then from that basis the rest of your life can be built. For most people we were not able to be our authentic self from

Beware of the Narcissists Flying Monkeys

There are so many aspects to be aware of when you are dealing with a narcissist, yet it is also important to know that the narcissist will sometimes enlist the help of others to basically gang up against you, and put you at fault. Generally narcissists do not care if they have to lie and

Let your Boundaries be Strong yet Flexible

In the early stages of your journey, when you may discover that you do not have boundaries or that your boundaries are too weak; it is important to replace them with strong and firm boundaries. But sometimes if we do not continue to develop we can get stuck there. Having firm boundaries in the beginning

Wisdom from ‘The Human Magnet Syndrome’

I read’The Human Magnet Syndrome’ by Ross Rosenberg a few years ago now, and I recently re-read it as I believe books always have more to offer on the second read, and you sometimes find that the book evolves with you and has wisdom to offer you at different stages in your life. This book

Creating Boundaries and Respecting Them

If you have grown up with weak boundaries it can be difficult to put them in place as an adult, because being boundaryless is your normal. Also you may believe that there is no point having boundaries because in your experience people do not respect them. This can also be linked to not speaking our

Insightful Quotes on Enmeshment within Toxic Families

Following on from my previous post on enmeshment I wanted to follow up by sharing some quotes from books that I have read hopefully you will find them interesting and informative. Enmeshment is a very important topic because it can be very difficult, for the person who was in the enmeshed relationship, to spot and